piece of a natsirc mind

How good it feels when we have someone to love, isn’t it?  Every time you are with the person whom you love, everything become beautiful.  Your problem disappears and everything seems to be going to be fine.  But as we all know nothing lasts forever, even the good things have to end.  What do you do when it all end?  How do you know when to hold on someone and when to let go?

• Hold on to someone whom you love, someone you know who loves you to.

• Let go when you are the only one who has the feeling of love for the person you are with.  Love can only survive when it goes two ways, for the feeling should be mutual.

• Hold on to someone worth fighting for, because there is no use fighting for someone who’s not worth it, right?

• Let go when the one you love keeps on cheating on you.  When he/she cheats on you for the first time it’s understandable, everyone gets weak on temptation.  But when he/she cheats on you over and over again then that mean he/she likes to give in to temptation.  This only mean he would never change.

• Hold on to someone whom you can’t live without and doing everything to hold on to you.  Because his actions only show that he/she can’t live without you to.

• Let go of someone who hurts you emotionally and physically.  Love should not keep you from leaving someone who shows his love brutality.  It’s not only wrong but also dangerous, especially when someone gets hurt.  Open your eyes and use your brain, someone who loves you wont do things to hurt you rather he/she would do everything to keep you from harm.

Hold on to somebody you really love but if he/she is the one, who wants to be free, then let go.  As the saying goes if you love someone set him free if he comes back then you are meant to be, but if he don’t then go on and look for someone else.  It’s not the end of the world when a love story ends.  He/she is not the only person in the world whom you could love, right?  There are so many fish in the sea, so go out fishing. (^_^)

When I was young I never felt that my father love me, he always says that I am good for nothing and that there is no brain here in my head.  We always have fights almost on everything there is available to fight on.  He would scold me for accidentally breaking one of our plates, saying that I am reckless.  When I am sick he would say that I am just faking it just for me to get treated specially by my mother, and that taking me to the doctor is just waste of money.  He would also scold me for watching T.V., but he wouldn’t let me go out to play. 

This is the situation between me and my father, until I am grown up we would still have fights.  The worst fight that we had made us not talk for days, days that become weeks.  Every time we would pass each other there is just total silence.  I thought that time the silent war would never end that’s until my mother got us to talk again to each other.  To tell you the truth even though my father is that strict and even sometimes I can’t stand his reasoning, I still love my old man.  For the reasons, that even though I am hard headed he still loved me to give me a place to come home to.  He also gave me something nobody can rob me of and that is education, come to think that he himself didn’t have the chance to study.  He raised his children and gives us all we need for our everyday life, even though all he reached was grade 5.  There is where I am proud of my father for even if he didn’t have a degree in collage he has done everything he can for his family not to feel the hardships he felt during his youth.  Everyday my father complains about how hard it is for him to earn money and how it makes his body aches working as a car mechanic just to give us all a great future.

This is why I am really proud of him and even though somebody would brag about his or her father who is a multi-millionaire, I would still tell them how my father even though not a multi-millionaire has done everything he could just to make his family happy.  As we say it in Filipino “Si Roberto Sanchez, tatay ko yan!”

Genevieve is the daughter of my elder sister and the first born of our family.  When she was born we used to tease my sister that she might been exchanged from the hospital for Genevieve is no doubt has a fairer skin complexion than her mother.

When she was still was a baby, I am the one who baby-sits her.  It’s because I’m the only one who have the free time and I need the money she pay me for taking care of her daughter.  At first she’s not that hard to take care of because all I have to do is made her drink her milk and make her take her nap.  But as she starts to grow bigger the task got harder, she doesn’t want to go to sleep and she often bites my shoulder when I am trying to make her go to sleep.  But it all pays off, when I got a job and need to go work and stay away from home for a long time.

When I got back home after a long time I was amazed that she haven’t forgotten me.  When I got home she recognized me and give me a big hug.  She is four right now and still continues to make our family happy.  My father who was always frowning, now smiles every time his granddaughter plays with him.  Sometimes she is a pain in the neck but everybody was like that when we are still a kid.

A lot of people notice that she is growing to be a cute kid; they even say she looks like the kid who plays Angelita, in a soap opera here in the Philippines.  And that makes my sister so proud of her because of those comments.  But what makes all of us really proud of her is when she does very well in school.  At a very young age she achieved something even her own mother wasn’t able to do, having an average grade of 91.

 She really is a very bright kid and talented as well, she makes our family so happy and that’s why everyone loves her.

Sorry…

I am sorry…

I am very, very sorry…

Every time we have done something wrong we say the word “sorry”.  But does saying sorry really is enough?  When is it acceptable and when is saying “sorry” is not enough for us to be forgiven?

For me sorry is only enough when you mean it from the bottom of your heart, and if what you have done is not that serious.  When you bumped into someone or spilled something or if you broken something by accident, then saying sorry is enough.  But when you intentionally harmed or killed someone or when you abused somebody, then sorry alone is not sufficient enough for you to be forgiven.

When someone does the same thing over and over again, do you think his sorry is sincere?  A politician who keeps cheating during the election or keeps on doing corrupt acts while he is still in power, do you think he/she means it when he/she says sorry?

Here is something that I have seen on television, a guy’s son commits suicide because a classmate of his keeps on bullying him and can’t take it anymore.  On his funeral the bully asked the father for forgiveness and says that he is so sorry from the bottom of his heart.  The father somehow finds some space in his heart for forgiveness, and gives it to the boy who bullied his son.  And the years had passed and the father killed the bully, and when the investigator asked him why he does it?  He said, “It is because I saw him bullying another kid, and then I thought what is his sorry for?  Does my son’s death isn’t enough for him to change? Didn’t he learn anything?”

So you see, saying sorry is nothing unless you mean it and you’ve learn something from your mistake.  If you are going to say sorry and doesn’t mean it then it is just like not saying sorry at all.  If only everybody think before doing something then maybe no one would need to say “SORRY” anymore.

Who are the people who I love to hate?  Let’s be honest, we all have someone we love to hate.   We hate somebody or everybody for one reason or for a lot of reasons.  Here are the people whom I love to hate and the reason/s why I hate them.

• I hate people who think they are so perfect and they become so proud of themselves.  They tend to look at everybody as inferior to their superior selves, and criticize you as if they don’t have any flaws themselves.  F.Y.I no body is perfect…

• I hate a person who bullies other people.  They act so brave, yet they can only take on somebody who is weaker than them.  I mean if they believe they are so tough, why don’t take on somebody of their own size?  Is this because it is true that, when you unmasked a bully, you reveal a coward?

• I hate a big guy who uses a child just to earn money.  These are men in syndicates that makes children go out of the streets to ask for money and give all of it to them.  Lazy good for nothing men!

• I love to hate a person who makes a living out of illegal things.  These are men who are drug pushers, kidnappers, hold-uppers, carnappers, pickpockets etc. etc. etc…  isn’t there anything else they can think of to make a living of?

• I love to hate politicians who promise everything just to get elected.  Yet after their big greedy ass gets sited on the position they are aiming for, they does nothing rather than fill their pockets with money and satisfy their greedy belly.  And because of their greed they are turning our country to a hell here on earth.  Why don’t they just go to hell by themselves and don’t raise hell here in our country.   Government officials should do things for their country; they are there to serve and not to be served. 

• I love to hate our government officials who have no brains in their coconut shells.  My beloved country,
  Philippines is now drowning in debts because of the brainless men and women who runs its government.  They keep on taking in debts and spending them in projects that supposed to be brilliant but ends up stupid and worthless.  And they are the ones who keeps on flaunting their college degrees and the university where they have graduated, yet acts so stupid.

These are the people whom I love to hate can you blame me for hating them?  Don’t you just hate them to?  How about you, who are the people you love to hate?

“A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye”, almost everyone knows this saying.  When someone slaps you on your face, you slap him back.  When someone punches you, you punch him back…  It’s only just isn’t it?  It’s like the principle of equal trade doesn’t it?

So when two airplanes crashed against the world trade center, rockets start raining in Iraq…  Well for the relatives of those who died on the world trade tradegy, please don’t get mad at me and I know it is hard and painfull it is to loose somebody whom you love.  But starting a war won’t take the pain away.  Would it bring back all that was lost?  Do you really belive that war would bring justice?  You may say that the people who died in the world trade center are all innocent people, who have done nothing to the people responsible for the accident.  But if you think of it, are all the people who died during the rain of rockets in Iraq are only those who are guilty?  If that is so, what is the difference between the men who made those plane crash and the men who launched those rockets?  My answer, they are both the same for  they both done what they think is right and don’t care who gets trapped in between the cross-fire.  In a war no one really wins, for both sides sacrificed men’s lives for what they think is right.  Both sides looses a Father, a mother, a son, a daughter, and even a child.  In a war bullets, missiles and granades won’t choose who gets hit, even innocent people gets hurt.  Doesn’t it says in the bible, love your enemies as you love yourself?  Then how do you love your self?  A saying here in the Philippines says, “when someone throws stones at you, throw him a bread in return.” this means when someone has done something wrong to you, show him kindness in return.  For violence only begets violence, when someone hurts you and you hurt them in return does it ends there?  Won’t they hurt you again for what you have done and then again you would seek payback, and then it becomes a vicious cycle and it won’t end when somebody is dead.  For the people who loves him would be the one who would seek payback and the cycle starts again.

Finaly I want to end this article, with what Ninoy Aquino said that I have heard on a documentary of his life during the martial law.  He said “We shouldn’t do anything violent because it would only justify what he is doing…  If we done nothing violent and he does something violent, then in the eyes of everyone and in the eyes of God, he’s the only sinner.”  What’s done is done, let’s just do everything for it not to happen again.

This article is a list of reasons why I feel that being a Filipino sucks. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be a Filipino for a lot of reasons but the following reasons makes me feel bad about being a Filipino.

First reason, it sucks being a Filipino because we have a great government , only there’s no one good enough to run it properly and I am not only talking of our President. I’m talking about everyone, this is because everyone who’s running this government thinks only about themselves, as long as they satisfies their greed they don’t care what the hell happens to our country.

Second reason, it sucks being a Filipino because we have the brightest minds. alot of Filipinos have lots of bright ideas, but our government has the dumbest way to recognize what would help and what would not.  For an example of which is when a Filipino invented a design for a high-tech fire engine that would be so helpful in fighting fire, but as usual our government don’t think that it is a good idea, so the design ends up in the hands of another country and now it’s the most high-tech fire engine that surpasses all the fire engines used here in the Philippines.

Third reason, it sucks being a Filipino beacause we have the bravest men.  Men who would sacrifice their lives for their beloved country, only their officials would only provide them with defective, second hand weapons that is next to the weapons used in the time of the second world war.  They say we have high-tech hellicopters, that would crash even before it has been hit by a rocket.  Our soldiers also have mortars that has boomerang ammunition that would comes back to the one who launched it.  And finaly our soldiers are equiped with machine guns that would jam in the middle of a fight.  And all of these is because the funds that is supposed to provide our men with a better weaponry, goes to the fund for building their general’s mansions.

Fourth reason why it sucks being a Filipino is beacause we have the richest natural resources.  They say that God blessed our country with it’s natural resources.  But I think God forgot to bless our government officials with a brain, for them to know how to take care of it and use it properly.  For some of our rice fields and forests are turned into a golf course, they exchanged the lands that produces food and trees for a place where they can swing their clubs and chase a tiny ball they kept on hitting.  And when our country faces a shortage in rice, where we get it?  Our government officials imports it from other countries, because the land that supposed to produce them are turned into their play grounds.  What bright minds they have?

Lastly the fifth reason why being a Filipino sucks is because we always have our eyes on corrupt officials.  Once there is a news that a government official has done something wrong, everyone had their eyes on her. Everybody wants her out of her possition, that is until a famous celebrity couple breaks up, after that everything is forgotten.

How I wish that someday I can really say without a doubt that I am proud to be a Filipino and there is no reason why I shouldn’t….